There was a day when I hated getting attention from men. Any eyes on me felt like unsafe eyes. Men couldn't be trusted, I thought. My body makes bad things happen, I thought.
So I covered up, hid my curves under baggy pants and high necklines, and even carried extra weight for years as an unconscious barrier between me and the men who could hurt me. (That last one came as a realization through coaching with the brilliant Laina James.)
When I did receive male attention, I got angry. Really angry. Several years ago when living in Washington, D.C., it was not unlike me to scream "Go f*** yourself!" in response to a simple whistle. Yikes!
But I know now that I can be safe AND sexy. I know how to set healthy boundaries for myself and still take in admiration for what is - if I do say so myself - a pretty rockin' body.
I know that sexual abuse has nothing to do with lust and everything to do with power. Rape has nothing to do with cleavage and everything to do with a deep imbalance of male and female energies on the planet that has been acted out in various ways throughout all of human history, shows up in the myths and stories of every culture in every corner of the earth from every time period, and continues to be acted out today not only between humans and humans, but between humans and the earth herself.
My neckline alone isn't going to stop that shit.
In fact, I know that when I suppress my sexuality, I suppress my creativity and my efficacy, and I actually cut myself off from my deep, feminine connection to the earth - the very thing that can help me play my part in healing the imbalance that has caused all of this suffering in the first place.
I also know that expressing my sexuality means so much more than just "having sex." It means standing in my full power. It means deciding whom I let in to my space and how far. And It means loving every inch of myself fully deeply and completely first, before looking to anyone else to do so.
Today I realized how far I had come on this issue when I wore a new dress that highlighted all my curves in all the right places. As I walked downtown in my dress, my fedora, and my heels, I felt eyes on me the whole way - AND I LOVED IT.
The icing on the cake? One not-so-bad-looking fella was bold enough to stop and say, "How you doing, darlin? You're gorgeous! Can I take you out sometime?"
I laughed and said, "It's been awhile since I've heard those words!"
He raised his eyebrows as if to say, "Well?"
"I'm gonna pass but you just made my day. Thanks for appreciating." Then I winked and walked off, swinging my gorgeous ass and feeling as safe and sexy as can be.
What can YOU do to claim your sexiness today? You might just change the course of history.
Moral of the Story: A well-integrated life is a happy life. We can be both vulnerable and safe, and I can help you get there. Grab your "Holy Crap I Love My Life" Strategy Session today. Could this be your day to really make a change?
What type of wild woman are you?
Hello! I'm Melanie Munir, founder of Professional Wild Woman - a women's empowerment business dedicated to helping women who are tired of feeling either "too much" or "not enough" to connect to their inner wildness so they can create work that allows them the fullest expression of their unique voice. Welcome!