Remember that blog post, “My Radical Game of DOING NOTHING?” Remember how, to finish off 2015 and bring in 2016, I did this crazy thing where I spent 30 days resting, receiving, and restoring, and NOT working?
Well the gifts of that time were WAY more than I’ve been able to share with you until now. Right at the end of that 30 day receiving game, I received the most amazing thing I’ve ever received in my life, after a lifetime of wanting it and six months of trying to get it.
Ten weeks and one day today, to be exact, due on September 29th. Omar and I are over the moon excited, and I’ve been absolutely dying to tell you every single day since we found out. But here’s the wild woman lesson in this, because you know I always find one:
I wasn’t able to conceive until I surrendered.
Ugh. Don’t you hate that? Back when I was single, I used to hate when people said, “You’ll find him when you stop trying.” And when we were trying to conceive, I equally hated the response, “Let go and it will happen.”
But you know why people say that? Because it’s fucking true. It’s true and you know it. I knew it, too, I just didn’t want to be told that when I so desperately wanted something that felt like it would never happen. Ok so now I’m on the other side of this particular wanting-turned-into-having, and I get to say it. I’ve earned the right. Right?
Here’s what happened:
Omar and I began trying to conceive as soon as we returned from our honeymoon last August. I started by buying a stack full of books to learn about a fertility friendly diet and lifestyle. I paid hundreds of dollars to work with a naturopath and do a cleanse. I marked my temperature religiously each morning on a little chart next to bed to try and figure out when I was ovulating. I prayed. I meditated. I tried to connect to the spirits of the babies that wanted to come through me.
And every month, starting at three days before my expected period, I peed on a stick (or two, or three). And every time, they were negative. And then I would start to bleed and I’d just sit on the toilet and cry.
Until early January, when I went to the OBGYN to ask if we could check and make sure everything was in tip-top shape in my pipes. I know it was only six months of trying, and it’s totally normal for healthy couples to take a year or more to conceive, but Omar is 40 and I’m 34 and we want at least two kids and we’ve been ready to be parents for a long time and we just didn’t want to waste any time. (Can you feel the urgency here? Not very surrender-y.)
It was discovered that I had an endometrial polyp. Easy to fix, but definitely a hindrance to fertility. All sources said it should make getting pregnant difficult to impossible. So I scheduled surgery to have it removed on their next available date - six weeks away, in late February, on my birthday, in fact. Oh yipee.
Nothing short of this kind of news could have made me relax around the conceiving issue, but now I had no choice. We simply had to wait. Between the time until the surgery and the time it would take after to heal up enough to be ready to try again, we accepted that it would be at least several more months until we could become pregnant, at the earliest.
So for the rest of January, I stopped taking my temperature. I stopped praying and hoping. We just let go and had sex when we wanted to. I didn’t even pee on any pregnancy tests leading up to my expected period that month. In fact, it was a day after I should have gotten my period when I woke up and thought, “Hmmm. Shouldn’t I have started bleeding by now? Or at least be cramping?”
I hadn’t equated the surrendering with getting pregnant until one of my practitioners, Kat Lee (who is an amazing acupuncturist in Santa Cruz, btw, all you locals) said to me, “You don’t achieve a pregnancy, Melanie, you receive it. And you weren’t ready to receive it until now, polyp or no polyp.”
Now, I don’t mean to apply this to any other woman’s story who is pregnant or trying to conceive - don’t get too literal, here. This doesn’t mean that if you’ve been wanting to be pregnant but aren’t yet, or if you’ve lost a pregnancy, that you’ve done something wrong. Not. At. All. That is definitely not my place to say.
Yet I think there is some broad wisdom here to be gained for all of us wanting to birth something into this world, human or otherwise. What is is that wants to come through us? And have we really softened enough to make space for it? How could we surrender even more?
Oh, and my birthday? I didn’t spend it in surgery. I spent it in Yosemite, on our first trip as a family of three. Much better.
Watch out, world, there is a Professional Wild Baby on the way!! Waaaaahooooooo!
P.S. What does this mean for my coaching business? Glad you asked! I’ll be going on maternity leave on September 1st - no private clients, no groups, no retreats, nothing but me and hubby and baby, until the universe lets me know otherwise.
Soooo, I have decided to open back up my private practice (which has been closed for about a year as I focused my attention solely on leading groups and retreats) to just three clients. We have just enough time to get a solid, inspiring, transforming six months of work in together to make huge progress on your personal and professional goals.
Is one of those three women, you? Have you been considering checking out Professional Wild Woman coaching for awhile? Do you want to add your name to the hundreds of women who have partnered with me over the past four years to leap from stagnant to wildly, brilliantly alive and in love with their lives and work??
This is your last chance, maybe forever! And I have recently lowered my rates. Yep, lowered. I’m passionate about making this work as accessible as possible, and I’m finally in a place to do that, so, you’re welcome. Yay!
If you’re interested, apply for a Wild Woman Strategy Session today! They’re just $97. You’ll get a ton out of the hour whether we decided it’s a good fit to continue or not, and if you sign up for a coaching package, I’ll apply your $97 to it. Bam.
Seriously, ladies. I've been doing this for years. I'm honored to have helped women leave jobs, start businesses, manifest relationships, find balance in their lives, heal old wounds, gain back their self-confidence, find their passion, access their inner wild woman, and overall, align their path with the wisdom of nature so all they do thrives and flourishes in harmony with the earth. This is my superpower. It fills me up and turns me on and I'm just damn good at it and I'd love to help YOU!
Let's do this.
What type of wild woman are you?
Hello! I'm Melanie Munir, founder of Professional Wild Woman - a women's empowerment business dedicated to helping women who are tired of feeling either "too much" or "not enough" to connect to their inner wildness so they can create work that allows them the fullest expression of their unique voice. Welcome!