My assistant give me a look from the back of the room like should I let him in? My gut said, “NO!”
Several things went through my mind in the next split second:
I overrode my gut, nodded “yes” to my assistant, and immediately regretted it. The man went straight for a chair against the back wall of the room, despite the fact that everyone else was seated together around tables in the front. He sat disengaged, playing with his phone the whole time.
And then it happened.
Right after I finished the workshop by delivering a powerful offer to attend the next Wild Woman Summit at a great price, while the women were looking at the registration forms and sitting with their decisions, he stood up and made an offer of his own! Turns out he is traveling to promote his product right now, saw my event on Facebook, and thought he would come and use it as a platform of his own.
I wanted to scream, “Hey asshole! Is this your workshop? Did you pay for this room? Did you spend the last month creating this content, inviting people, and marketing all over town? Is this your audience? Is this your stage? I didn’t think so. GET THE FUCK OUT!
What I did say was, “Excuse me, this isn’t the time. You may leave your information on the table for anyone who would like to know more about what you offer.”
He began talking over me, giving the women his URL and saying how they could take advantage of his offer. The participant’s faces began curling up, their arms crossed, their bodies stiff. This was not welcome. He proceeded to ignore two more of my requests to stop, until I had my assistant physically guide him out.
The whole thing really threw me. I found myself feeling so angry afterwards. But I wasn't as angry with him as I was with myself. I have spent years cultivating this sacred space for women. I made a conscious decision over a year ago to stop working with men and focus only on women, and I have pages of good reasons why. Why did I let him in?
Although I could cite the thoughts listed above as possible reasons, and I could drive myself crazy thinking and re-thinking my decision, I think the “why” isn’t as important as the “what-am-I-going-to-do-about-it-now?”
I share this with you because I think at some point in time, every business owner will be challenged to narrow their focus and refine their niche, which will inevitably leave some people out. This is not only ok, it’s necessary. It is not your responsibility to help every person in the world fix every problem they have. Nor is it mine.
You can be sure that next time a man tries to come to one of my workshops, the answer will be, “No,” and I’m not going to spend even one, damn second feeling guilty about it. What about you? Where do you need to unapologetically uphold your boundaries? Whom or what do you need to say “no” to to defend your values?
Best to decide now, or the universe might send you the lesson wrapped in the skin of an egotistical asshole who bombs your workshop. ;)
Are you a wild WOMAN? Want to check out my next workshop? I’m delivering them all over California as well as online in the next few months. Sign up for the Professional Wild Woman email list to hear as soon as new workshops are announced!
What type of wild woman are you?
Hello! I'm Melanie Munir, founder of Professional Wild Woman - a women's empowerment business dedicated to helping women who are tired of feeling either "too much" or "not enough" to connect to their inner wildness so they can create work that allows them the fullest expression of their unique voice. Welcome!