What if everything is already fine?
What if even that terrible struggle you’ve been having is just exactly what you need to bring you to the next level in your personal evolution? What if the tragedies we’ve been experiencing as a society are necessary growing pains as we evolve into our best, collective selves? What if nothing is wrong, nothing is broken, and everything is happening exactly as it should?
At the conclusion of every one of the thousands of coaching sessions I’ve delivered over the past three years to hundreds of clients, I come to the same conclusion: Everything is already fine. I look at my client and think, there is nothing to fix with this strong, beautiful, capable woman. She already has everything she needs, is already on her perfect path, and already knows what to do to reach her goals, even if she thinks she doesn’t.
Let’s take the question, “What should I do with my life?” which is a common one I receive in my line of work. Want to know my answer?
Do what you’re doing right now - until it’s time to do something different, and then do that.
And by “right now,” I don’t mean what is your current career, I mean, what are you doing right now? Reading this blog post? Great. Keep doing that as well as you can, until you can sense that it’s time to make a new choice and do something different, like going to the bathroom. Then, go to the bathroom as best as you can while you are doing it, until it’s time to make a new choice and go do something else, like sleep, or go work, or eat some soup, or have an orgasm, or write a letter, or walk your dog. Each time you do a new thing, that is your new answer to what you are doing with your life.
“But you know what I mean,” you say. “What am I supposed to make of my time on this earth? What am I supposed to accomplish?”
And at least in my personal world view, humans are part of nature, not separate from it. We follow its rules and patterns. We all came from the same stardust. So if the eagles and elephants know, it would seem that so do we.
It’s the self-created suffering about it that gets in the way, not the lack of an answer. The answer is there. Everything is already fine, remember? So the goal becomes finding access to that answer. And guess what? You’ll be much more likely to find it in a state of acceptance and contentment than anger and anxiety.
In fact, you’ll be mostly likely to find it if you allow your over-thinking brain to stop thinking about it altogether! Turn your gaze away from the “problem.” Take a break from trying to figure out what to do with your life for a hot second and go for a run, paint a picture, swim in the ocean, knit a scarf, roll around on the floor with your nephew, eat a donut, have sex, call your grandma, climb a tree, sing a song, or take a bath - just for a few suggestions to get you started.
Then, when you return to look at the “problem” again, you might be amazed at how much it doesn’t seem like much of a problem anymore. You might be pleasantly surprised at what shifted behind your back while you were out having fun and accepting that everything is already fine.
What are your thoughts on the everything-is-already-fine mindset? I’d love to hear them in the comments below!
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